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The manifesto says:

As with all property, if it is not looked after over time, the ability to use or own it is lost. For this reason, needs cannot be left unaddressed over time, by the definition of "needs" themselves. Maintenance of property demands responsibility, and in O&P this is a cardinal virtue of dominants and owners.

• From: www.seekdiscipline.com

First term

(5) First definition

• List Category: Sex

D/O/M; initialization

(10) An abbreviation used on SD! for Dominant/Owner/Master (or Mistress), as a way of referring to "the person in charge" without limiting it to a particular model of D/s or M/s.

• From: www.ownership-possession.com

D/s

(11) Abbreviation for Dominance and submission.
(11) See also Dominance and submission

Dacryphilia; also, Dacrylagnia

(2) Psychology, Sexual arousal from seeing a partner cry.

(9) Turned on by tears/crying.

(w) A form of paraphilia in which one is aroused by tears or sobbing. The term comes from the Greek words dacry- meaning "tears," and philia meaning "love."
(w) also dacrylagnia

Daddy

(2) A Dominant male or female that takes on a parent role with a submissive 'boy' or 'girl'. Daddies are known for their nurturing qualities.

(7) A Dominant who relates to their submissive as a male parent to child.

(11) A Dominant male or female that takes on a parent role with a submissive 'boy' or 'girl'. Daddies are known for they're nurturing qualities.
(11) See also boy
(11) See also girl

(c) Not always a male dominant
(c) contrast with A Mommy.

Deal-breaker

(2) An activity or act that defies negotiated terms that causes a permanent end to the parties' play relationship.

(11) An activity or act that defies negotiated terms which causes a permanent end to the parties play relationship.

Decorative binding

(2) The use of ropes or similar materials to restrict a portion of a submissive's body creatively and effectively. Rope corsets are a type of decorative binding.

(11) The use of ropes or similar materials to restrict a portion of a submissive's body in a creative and effective manner. Rope corsets are a type of decorative binding.

Dehumanization, also, Depersonalisation*

(10) Objectification, dehumanization and depersonalization are a set of related concepts involving the removal or denial of some of the qualities usually associated with being free, adult, and human.

For example, Slave Registration Numbers involve an element on depersonalization by providing an anonymous but unique number with which to refer to a slave without using a name.

Objectification as a fetish
Fetishistic objectification is the sexualized act of regarding a person as an object for erotic purposes. Allen Jones' sculptures ''Hat Stand'' and ''Table Sculpture'', made in 1969, which show semi-naked women in the roles of furniture, are clear examples of the depiction of the fantasy of sexual objectification. (This particular interest, a form of bondage that involves making furniture designed to incorporate a bound person, is also known as "forniphilia".)

A desire to be objectified occurs in many men's and women's masochistic sexual fantasies. Objectification for fetishistic purposes may provide erotic humiliation for the person so regarded, whether male or female. As with most sexual activities, it is generally viewed as abusive if it is not part of a consensual arrangement, such as in BDSM play.

• From: Objectification at www.seekdiscipline.com

Demisexual

(6) adj.: little or no capacity to experience sexual attraction until a strong romantic connection is formed with someone, often within a romantic relationship.

Denial

(5) Going without sex often at another person's command.

• List Category: Sex

Dental Dam; pl., Dental Dams

(2) A sterile latex device used by oral surgeons to create a sterile field in the mouth. A dental dam is used also to protect against transmission of disease during rimming and cunnilingus

(4) A (most commonly) latex barrier used for cunnilingus (pussy licking) or anilingus (ass licking) to prevent the transmission of disease.

(11) A sterile latex device used by oral surgeons to create a sterile field in the mouth. A dental dam is used also to protect against transmission of disease during rimming and cunnilingus.
(11) See also rimming
(11) See also cunnilingus

Depersonalization*

(10) See Dehumanization, for Objectification

Depo-Provera

(8) The trade name of the hormone, medroxyprogesterone acetate, manufactured by Upjohn in the United States. The hormone is progestinic and antiandrogenic. It has several clinical applications, one of which is to help sex offenders gain personal governance of their sexuoerotic conduct.
(8) See also Androcur

Deviant

(4) The name for someone who diverges from the accepted standards, usually of sexual morality, is called a 'deviant'.

(8) Not in conformity with what is considered ideal, standard, or normal, according to a given criterion standard that may itself be deviantly radical, conventional, despotic, or arbitrary.

Device Bondage; Colloquial

(2) Bondage involving highly specialized equipment, furniture, or devices, often very elaborate, to immobilize a person.

Devil's Fire; Colloquial

(2) An unusual branding technique that involves taking a pointed needle that has been heated red-hot and touching it lightly to the surface of the skin for a brief instant. The point of the needle creates a tiny round burn on the skin. Hundreds, or thousands, of these tiny marks, are combined to create a pointillistic design that may persist for several weeks to several months.

(c) High Risk

Diagonal Cross

(2) See St. Andrew's cross.
(2) Usage: Primarily British; uncommon in the United States.

(c) Also, X-Cross.

Diapers

(3) Waterproof panties or cloth worn in BDSM play for the object of child-playing scenes. Also used in control scenes for controlling bodily functions.

Dignity

(10) Dignity is one of the ten keywords in the O&P manifesto, and part of O&P's ethical system for dominants and owners.

The manifesto says:

Dignity, and the need to avoid undignified behavior, are guiding principles for owners and dominants, and promote the stability and proper functioning of the household and its interactions with people outside. Maintaining dignity requires the avoidance of lying, cheating, lack of effort, or breaking one's word. It also means not compromising on one's own freedom, including making oneself dependent on others because of lack of self-discipline, and not compromising one's self in the face of resistance from submissives and social pressures from outside the household. In short, it is beneath an owner or dominant's dignity to engage in unworthy behavior.

• From: www.ownership-possession.com

Dilation

(3) The term is used when a woman's cervix is medically dilated (opened) to aid in childbirth. In BDSM play dilation occurs when a speculum (pelvic exam device) is used to open the cervix for medical scening.
(3) Safety Note: Care should be exercised and the previous study should be done, before attempting this play.
(3) This form of play is dangerous.

(c) Also: When an anal speculum is used to open the anus, especially on a power bottom.
(c) Moderate to High Risk.

Dildo

(2) An object used for sexual penetration. Most dildos are made of rubber or latex and come in various shapes, sizes, and colors.

(3) From the French term meaning "I please myself."
(3) A phallic-shaped device designed for insertion into the body. Early versions were made of stuffed animal gut, leather, or ceramics; however, today they are most commonly crafted of molded latex. They may be hand-held, strapped on with harnesses to allow women to wear, or permanently placed on other devices to ensure stability during use.
(3) Hygiene demands that dildos not be shared with others, or condoms are placed on dildos to prevent the spread of STDs.
(3) See also: Anal Plug, Vibrator.

(11) An object used for sexual penetration. Most dildos are made of rubber or latex and come in various shapes, sizes, and colors.

Dildo - Anal

(5) A non-vibrating artificial phallus in the anus.

• List Category: Sex

Dildo - Oral

(5) A non-vibrating artificial phallus in the mouth.

• List Category: Sex

Dildo - Vaginal

(5) A non-vibrating artificial phallus in vagina.

• List Category: Sex

Discipline

(1) Punishing, spanking, verbal orders, etc. to train a submissive.

(2) Used to describe the teachings of the submissive in proper behavior and etiquette; the punishment/correction administered when a submissive does not behave appropriately.

(4) In the BDSM context means training your submissive to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

(7) Structured Control of a boy or slave by the Master or Dominant. The ability to follow a Direction without question and with pride.

(8) Punishment and control of a partner during sex play.

(10) In Ownership relationships, discipline is the overall structure of rules, rewards and penalties which the owner creates to obtain obedience from their property.

In BDSM, discipline can refer to some forms of impact-based SM (eg caning) and is part of the catch-all term "Bondage and Discipline" which preceded "BDSM".

• From: www.seekdiscipline.com

(11) Technique used to describe the teachings of the submissive in proper behavior and etiquette; the punishment/correction administered when a submissive does not behave in an appropriate manner.

Discussion forums

(10) The discussion forums section of TSR's Ownership Subculture Listings links to web boards and mailing lists that are primarily concerned with Ownership - that is, M/s or 24/7 D/s relationships where ultimate authority is always in the hands of the owner or dominant.

• From: www.seekdiscipline.com

(c) The historical discussions on these forums are available on Archive.org but as the corresponding sites [ownership-possession.com, www.slaveregister.com, www.seekdiscipline.com] have been defunct, no new comments or discussions can be started there.

DM; Abbreviation

(2) Dungeon Master/Mistress

(11) Dungeon Master/Mistress
(11) See also Dungeon Master/Mistress

Dog Training; also, Dog Play

(7) A structured encounter in which a Master/Trainer gives a slave/dog (puppy) Instruction and Training in proper canine behavior, protocol, and interactions. Play occurs when the Master/Trainer Provides the proper environment in which the human-dog/puppy can act out and live this part of his/her persona.

Dom

(2) A male-identified Dominant.

(7) A male Dominant.

(11) A male identified Dominant.
(11) See also Dominant

Domestic Discipline; also, DD

(10) Domestic Discipline, or simply DD, is discipline (the enforcement of order, usually by punishment for infringement of rules applied) in a domestic context, normally between members of a household.

In the generally voluntary context of adult relationships, it is specifically applied to the practice of interspousal discipline, in BDSM and some similar relationship styles, frequently with an emphasis on spanking as a punishment. Practitioners often argue that domestic discipline is distinct from both domestic abuse and activities such as erotic spanking and BDSM-style dominance and submission.

Ideally, DD is the loving, consistent use of discipline as a positive way to enhance communication, deepen intimacy and reinforce relationship commitment. The discipline would normally include physical punishment but centers around rules of behavior laid down by one party and nominally agreed to by the other.

It is often seen as a stylized form of traditional relationship intended to help the woman overcome negative behaviors that harm herself, her relationship or others. In creating loving limits to her behavior and firm consequences for harmful activities, it aims to improve the relationship over time and demonstrates a loving connection to and physical correction from a caring partner.

Commonly in a heterosexual relationship, the disciplined is the woman and the disciplinary is the man but this need not be the case, see the Disciplinary Wives Club [archive].

Switching is unusual in a DD relationship though it does occur.

• From: www.seekdiscipline.com

Domina

(4) A female dominant.

(11) A shortened term for Dominatrix.
(11) See also Dominatrix.

Dominance

(4) The exercise of power or influence over others. It can simply be roleplay, where one partner is consensually empowered to 'dominate' while the other adopts the part of the submissive for the limited purpose of sexual games, or it can reflect deep-seated personality traits which influence lifestyle choices. Although the words 'Dominant' and its contraction, 'Dom' can refer to either gender they are most commonly reserved for men while a female dominant would be called a 'Domme', 'Domina', or 'Dominatrix'. A person who enjoys playing both roles is called a 'switch'

Dominance Economy

(10) The Dominance Economy (DE) is an idea inspired by the "Stroke Economy" of Transactional Analysis, in which interactions with other people ("strokes") are seen as a limited resource - often to the extent of being scarce. In the DE, the currency is competent dominance rather than strokes, since submissives outnumber competent dominants in the BDSM Play Scene and Ownership Subculture.

The DE can be used to view the problem of finding a dominant as a marketplace, in which the service of the submissive is "bought" with dominance. In the case of slavery and other types of ownership, the submissives themselves become the properties that are "sold". (However, since dominance is not transferable, this marketplace does not provide the ability for property to be sold on or its ownership transferred.)

Since the amount of dominance that can be "spent" is closely related to the time that a dominant can devote to the management of a submissive, the DE is also a useful concept within a household, when assessing the impact of competing demands on the dominant's time (eg work vs ownership; between multiple slaves; between interest in a submissive and other interests.)

• From: www.seekdiscipline.com

(c) See also Finding Enslavement on www.enslavement.org.uk

Dominance/submission; also, D/s, DS

(10) Dominance/submission (or D/s, or DS) is a general term for relationships in which one party has power over the other. Master/slave relationships are a special case of D/s, in which the dominant has ultimate authority over the submissive.

• From: www.seekdiscipline.com

Dominant; also, Dom, Female: Domme, Domina

(1) Also called a Dom, a Top, a Master, or a Mistress. One who controls a bottom, slave, or submissive. Again, the differences between these terms – if there are any – will be covered in future Kink Weekly editions.

(2) A person who possesses a dominating persona and enjoying taking control. Dominants may or may not have sadistic tendencies. Also known as a 'Top'.

(3) The one in charge, or the top who oversees and controls. A Dominant should be well versed in many areas of sexual play for safety. The responsible One.

(4) In a BDSM context, strictly speaking, for either gender to describe a person who enjoys exercising power and control over others, however, these words are usually reserved for males while their female equivalent is usually called 'domme', 'domina' or 'dominatrix'.

(7) One who enjoys controlling another person by deciding what happens and when.

(10) A person who prefers to be superior in a D/s relationship, being obeyed, served, and pleased by their submissive partner. Dominant is the broadest term in the dominant / master/owner orientation. All masters or mistresses are dominants and all who describe themselves as owning property are dominants but not all dominants are masters/mistresses or owners of the property. Self-describing as a dominant does not necessarily mean that the person already has a submissive. Instead, dominant describes a preference for taking the dominant role in a relationship or in a BDSM scene and operates as a type of self-description or self-advertisement.

The everyday definition of the word "dominant" is: "commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others" (Merriam-Webster). The BDSM and Ownership definitions of dominant differ from the everyday definition of dominant in the following ways:

• Dominant in BDSM and the Ownership Subculture is commonly used as a noun and this is a correct usage within this subculture.
• The word dominant in the BDSM world is considerably more varied than the ordinary use of the word. Dominant in the everyday sense is an adjective describing a fixed personality feature exhibited in all interactions with others. In the vanilla world "dominant" commonly refers to a set of traits that is manifested whenever the person interacts with anyone. Within BDSM the word "dominant" refers only to that person's relationship to their own submissives or potential submissives they wish to form a relationship with. In other words, it is possible for people who do not display dominance in the vanilla world to describe themselves as dominant when referring to their relationship with a submissive or when describing themselves in the BDSM world.

In the wider BDSM scene, dominant is often used in place of the more correct word "top" for the active participant in bondage, flogging and other forms of physical BDSM.

Differences between dominants and owners
Within much of the Ownership Subculture, dominant is used in contrast to the term master or owner, mainly due to the connotations of the corresponding terms submissive and slave.

• From: www.seekdiscipline.com
• From: www.ownership-possession.com

(11) A person who possesses a dominating persona and enjoying taking control. Dominants may or may not have sadistic tendencies. Also known as a 'Top'.
(11) See also Top.

(c) A Top is a sexual position and not necessarily the one in control, i.e., a sub-top vis-à-vis a dom-bottom, sometimes a power bottom.

Dominate

(4) To assume or exert control over another person.

Dominatrix

(1) A Domme; although it implies being a professional.

(4) Terms most often used in a BDSM context to describe a female who enjoys exercising power and control over others.
(4) also, Domme or Domina.

Domina

(2) Shortened term for Dominatrix.

Dominance and Submission

(2) Description used about a relationship or scene that is strictly one of power exchange, no sadomasochistic acts are involved.

(8) Power exchange between partners.

(11) Term used in reference to a relationship or scene that is strictly one of power exchange, no sadomasochistic acts are involved.
(11) See also Sadomasochism.

Domination

(2) The erotic control consensually imposed on a submissive. This can be via physical and/or verbal means.

(11) The erotic control consensually imposed on a submissive. This can be via physical and/or verbal means.

Dominatrix

(2) A female-identified Dominant.

(7) A woman who enjoys taking the dominant role but more often refers to the professional dominatrix who charges for staging scenes where she dominates mainly male clients.

(8) A person, usually a woman hired, to function as a top or sadist. A female in the sadomasochistic role of total domination and discipline.

(11) A female identified Dominant.
(11) See also Dominant.

Domme

(1) A female Dominant. Also called a Dominatrix.

(2) A female-identified Dominant.

(7) A female Dominant.

(11) A female identified Dominant.
(11) See also Dominant.

Double Penetration

(3) Play involving the penetration of two or more bodily orifices with various types of devices and/or genitalia, (i.e., penetration of the mouth/rectum/vagina, etc.)

(5) Sexual intercourse in which two orifices are filled.

• List Category: Sex

(9) One penis in the vagina, another in the ass

Double Penetration - Multiple Partners

(5) Sexual intercourse in which two orifices are filled.

• List Category: Sex

Double Weave

(2) See florentine.

Down Low

(6) adj.: typically referring to men who identify as straight but who secretly have sex with men. Down low (or DL) originated in, and is most commonly used by, communities of color.

Do-me Queen

(2) A term used to describe a submissive that is more interested in self-gratification than in what the Dominant desires. This 'title' is not one to be proud of and that type of a submissive is very undesirable.

(11) Term used to describe a submissive that is more interested in self-gratification than in what the Dominant desires. This 'title' is not one to be proud of and that type of a submissive is very undesirable.

Drag

(2) Cross-dressing

(11) Cross-dressing
(11) See also Cross-dressing

(c) Other terms Drag King, Drag Queen

Drag King

(6) noun: someone who performs (hyper-) masculinity theatrically.

Drag Queen

(6) noun: someone who performs (hyper-) femininity theatrically.

(8) Vernacular name for a male homosexual dressed in women's attire and impersonating a woman, often in an exaggerated way.

(c) Not always homosexual male; may include a trans man, a trans woman, and other variations.

Dragon's Tail

(2) An unusual type of whip consisting of a handle, often made of wood and wrapped with leather, to which a wide triangular piece of thin leather or suede is attached. This leather or suede forms a lash which is a hollow tube tapering to a point at the striking end.

(4) An unusual type of whip consisting of a handle, often made of wood and wrapped with leather, to which a wide piece of thin leather or suede is attached. This leather or suede forms a lash, which is a hollow tube tapering to a point at the striking end.

Dragon's Tongue

(2) An unusual type of whip consisting of a handle, often made of wood and wrapped with leather, and a lash made of a single wide piece of leather or suede wrapped around another, thinner suede lash. The outer lash is rolled into a tube around the inner lash and tapers to a point at the striking end.

Dread Koosh Flogger; Colloquial

(2) A flogger made from a rope handle tied to several Koosh balls, which are children's toys consisting of a small, hard rubber ball with a very large number of long rubber "whiskers" attached. The dread koosh flogger was invented by a participant of the Usenet newsgroup alt.sex.bondage and is generally considered the definitive standard for thud in a flogger.

(4) A flogger made from a rope handle tied to several Koosh Balls (children’s toys) consisting of a small, hard rubber ball with a very large number of long rubber “whiskers” attached.

Drop Collar

(2) A specific type of collar which is shaped in such a way as to descend in the front, so that the frontmost part of the collar rests in the hollow of the throat rather than around the front of the neck. A drop collar may be constructed of a rigid material like stainless steel or made of more conventional materials such as leather. Some drop collars feature a medallion, charm, or other ornamentation on the frontmost part of the collar.

Dungeon; pl., Dungeons

(2) A room that is set up and used for SM play; playroom.

(4) Any place specifically set up for BDSM activities, often equipped specifically for BDSM play.

(7) A room set up for SM play equipped with hardware, toys, slings, whipping posts, St Andrews Cross, etc.

(8) Rooms that are decorated for SM play.

(11) A a room setup and used for SM play.
(11) See also Playroom.

Dungeon Master/Mistress; abbreviation DM also Dungeon Monitor

(2) A person or persons who assure rules are abided by during a play party or at a Dungeon. DM's assure that if a safeword is used during a scene the proper steps are taken. If Red is ever called out during a public party the DM's promptly stop ALL scenes until the issue is rectified.

(4) In a play party, a person is charged with ensuring that the participants adhere to safety rules.

(11) A person or persons who assures rules are abided by during a play party or at a Dungeon. DM's assure that if a safewordis used during a scene the proper steps are taken. If Red is ever called out during a public party the DM's promptly stop ALL scenes until the issue is rectified.
(11) See also Play party; Safeword; Red; DM.

Dyke

(6) noun: referring to a masculine-presenting lesbian. While often used derogatorily, it is also reclaimed affirmatively by some lesbians and gay women as a positive self-identity term.

D/s

(1) Dominance and submission. A more specific term than BDSM (although D/s is contained within BDSM).

(2) Abbreviation for Dominance and submission.

(4) Abbreviation for domination and submission and is often spelled like this, with a capital (dominant) 'D' and a lower case (submissive) 's'. You will commonly find the same convention used in BDSM internet chat rooms, where the Dom's nicknames will start with an upper case letter, and the submissives will use the lower case. In those circumstances, it does no particular harm and it’s just a handy way of knowing peoples' preferences.

D/s' Relationship

(4) An ongoing relationship where each partner has a recognized role, one being dominant while the other is submissive. This structured way of relating to each other can apply either just in their sex life or more pervasively to some or all other aspects of their daily lifestyle.

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