Risk Aware

Risk Aware vs. Safe, Sane, and Consensual

The concept of 'risk aware' has been around for a long time, but most people are unaware of the actual risks involved. While informed decision-making is important, many believe practices like 'breath play' can be executed safely. In reality, even in a trauma room with emergency doctors, breath play cannot be guaranteed to be safe for the submissive. By the time distress is visible, the submissive is already near death. (Breath play includes choking, strangulation, holding, or constraining breath by any means.) Truly understanding the dangers often exceeds the knowledge or interest of those involved. Ultimately, 'risk awareness' shifts the responsibility to the submissive, expecting them to fully understand and accept life-threatening risks.

Does the dominant say to the submissive - Will you engage in breath play with me, knowing that sexually connected deaths by lack of oxygen average 250 persons in the United States each year? If someone said that to you, would you agree to roll those dice? Has the dominant placed into the hands of that submissive (before play) accurate details on what can and may occur should they consent? Or does the dominant leave the 'collection of data' to the submissive? (Statistics can be verified in the Megalinks of Criminal Justice.)

Or perhaps we should look at a common whipping where the skin is abraded or broken. Is the submissive aware of the level of contamination on the whip, the table, in the blood or sweat of their dominant, who is touching them during the scene? If the whip is used on several submissives, can illness or disease be transmitted by it? How would you feel if a doctor used 'dirty' medical devices on you during an operation? How would you feel if the operating room were not sterile, if the doctor's hands were unwashed? Do you believe you are at risk for exposure to disease, particularly if you have openings in your skin? Are the dominant's responsibilities in the scene any different from those of a doctor? Is your life in their hands? Is your exposure to disease in their hands? Should you, as a submissive, trust them to act in the protection of your life, health, and well-being? During the scene, can you, as a submissive, act to prevent touching of your body, open wounds, by non-sterile or contaminated sources?

What about a diabetic submissive - how long does it take a diabetic submissive to heal from a fairly simple bruise? Is that contusion life-threatening? Debilitating? How does a submissive, in advance of the scene, investigate the consequences of a bruise that doesn't heal for years? How do they know the nature of this future bruise, how big it will be, how much tissue will be damaged to be 'informed' in advance of their 'risks'? Does the dominant advise the submissive on common medications that can increase or reduce bruising? Does the dominant know what medical implications the introduction or removal of such common medications will have on the submissive's other medications? Or should the submissive ask their doctor first?

How about breast bondage? Does the dominant ensure that the submissive knows that circular (often used by persons new to S/m) breast bondage can and often does cause lifetime nerve damage to the submissive? How about nipple piercing and long-term infections of the breast? Is permanent nerve damage and long-term infections acceptable outcomes?

This paragraph raises concerns about the responsibility and power balance in a 'risk-aware' dynamic. It argues that dominants can pressure submissives into agreements without facing consequences themselves, potentially causing harm. It questions whether a submissive’s consent is valid when influenced by trust or fear, and asks what responsibility dominants bear if the submissive’s mental health is compromised or if coercion is involved. The paragraph challenges whether mental health should factor into consent and highlights the ethical complexities if a submissive is at risk or vulnerable.

This sounds like an open ticket to overt predatory (lack of responsibility) behaviors to me. Again, placing the burden for outcome solely upon the shoulders of the submissive, with the dominant bearing nothing, no damage, no long-term responsibility.

The simple truth is that two people are involved in the scene. Both are there by consent, and both are responsible for any negative outcome that may occur. If a dominant damages, injures, or kills a submissive, they can and should be faced with legal consequences. Consent is not enough, and consequences should be equally meted out.

A submissive should be educated just as a dominant should be educated. Neither should do anything just because they like to do it. If that behavior is highly unsafe, then to proceed questions the mental health of either or both individuals.

If you, as a submissive, are encouraged to agree to 'Risk Aware' consent rather than Safe, Sane Consent, then I suggest that before the scene, you make the dominant legally responsible for all medical, emotional, or mental health damage which may result from this agreement. Call it 'scene insurance' - see a good attorney and your insurance agent.

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Retrieved April 2026 https://web.archive.org/web/20120127130937/http://www.steel-door.com/riskaware.htm.

Other relevant links: Safe here, Sane here, Consensual here, and Challenging Consent here.