Letting...

Let

To neither forbid nor prevent. To release. To allow, permit, suffer.

Letting has many forms and expressions in BDSM. Often, a Dominant will 'allow' an event to occur which is pre-known (by the Dominant) to have negative implications. This type of letting is often aligned with training where a submissive is allowed to proceed forward with their own mental choices to 'allow' them to 'see' through their own actions and choices where an error in judgment is occurring. This is often a form of passive training, requiring no DIRECT action on the part of the Dominant to occur. It is also a form of 'respect' offered by the Dominant TO the submissive, a belief BY the Dominant that the submissive is eminently competent to make decisions and evaluate them, not requiring the Dominant to 'tell' them everything.

A different form of letting sometimes occurs between a Dominant and a submissive. This Letting occurs in the form of a devout offering.

"What is the depth of your ownership to your belief, vested within the form of the person you recognize or identify as 'your' Dominant?"

This question is not lightly asked. Devotion at the very core of submission is expressed through all areas of a submissive's life. That submissive must have a sustaining belief in the ideal of what submission is. This often begins prior to the submissive encountering any Dominant. It seldom occurs in one fell swoop of 'insight', but most often is a slow progression of tiny insights into what their 'soul' is telling them is the truth for themselves. Each of these tiny insights is a direct challenge to the known and acceptable standards they have been brought up with and requires testing and proving by the submissive before they accept it to be true. Each of these challenges is an insurrection, a battle of the spirit and psyche. What the submissive takes forward from that battle is one tiny bit more of self-understanding and personal clarity. Often, when a submissive first begins on this path, this same clarity brings with it confusion and internal conflict, for it exposes everything around the submissive to a different light or viewpoint. It is common for this confusion to grow, or for the submissive to discover their personal 'fit' in their daily world to be diminishing with every battle.

This period in a submissive's life is called TRANSITION. They have begun a journey toward the life of a submissive and may outwardly identify themselves AS a submissive, but they have not reached a point of full belief within themselves. A submissive may be able to self-chronicle this 'stage' in their development by the 'lack of peace' within their life. They may feel turmoil, disturbances, and experience extremes of temper, irritation, and a resistance to overt controls. These controls may be those which normally occur within daily life, such as the interaction of a 'boss' in the work environment. To some extent, as a submissive 'embraces' their submission, they become more independent or outside of the 'normal' controls imposed upon them by outer society. They often become almost aggressively strong in response to attempts to control them by persons or entities that the submissive does NOT recognize as worthy of that control.

With a shifting in belief structure, the alignment of personal loyalty to this new belief alters WHAT and WHOM a submissive will allow control to emanate from. If a submissive is involved in an abusive relationship when they begin this journey, they will often gain courage and strength through their new insights, which will allow them to break free of the abuse. During TRANSITION, a submissive will often move from their old lifestyle toward an environment that will not censure this emerging infant within themselves. They will actively seek out new friendships and associations that will be supportive and more in alignment with the growing belief within themselves. Many submissives pay a severe price during TRANSITION for their altered beliefs. Often, they lose relationships or fall under the censure of old friends and family as they move further 'away' from what is considered by their old lifestyle to be acceptable behavior. It is not uncommon for submissives to get divorced and lose full custody of children, as well as experience a direct diminishment in their finances. None of these consequences should be ignored or overlooked by a submissive at the beginning of this journey. If possible, many submissives should 'delay' or slow this process until PRIOR duties and obligations to family and children can be met in the least destructive way possible.

A submissive can usually identify the latter stages of TRANSITION by the 'coming of peace'. Desires to 'act out' or 'fight for relationship position' diminish or disappear entirely. Often, the submissive will view the 'ideal' of what submission means within themselves with as much reverence as they may offer to the 'manifestation' or focus (the Dominant) of that belief in physical form. Ownership is to both the belief of what submission is, AS WELL AS to the Dominant they have bonded to. This combination of devotion can move very deeply within the submissive, permeating every thought they think and every action they take. There is no STRICTER trainer than the voice within the submissive themself which knows every thought, every nuance, every deviation and mistake, however minute. A submissive can NEVER escape their own SIGHT and TRUTH. They can 'get away with' nothing, for there is ALWAYS a witness...THEMSELVES. As they exit TRANSITION, it is often with the knowledge that submission requires a level of self-discipline and control at its highest levels. The simple actions of serving reveal themselves to be rich and beautiful and no longer relegated to tasks or duties pressed upon them, but instead glories to be WILLFULLY and JOYOUSLY embraced.

It is at this point that some Dominants and submissives will experience a form of devotional Letting. The action of 'being with' the source and focus of their belief may position a submissive in a constant state of ecstasy. Some will feel themselves to be 'within' their Dominant, which on some levels equates to spiritual expressions of heaven or nirvana. They may experience sensations of spiritual transcendence or elevation coupled with extreme personal inner peace. This often begins when a submissive is in 'space', but a few will cross over into every aspect of their daily lives.

A Dominant goes through an almost identical process, and when in the latter stages of their own emergence, they will often seek out a singular life mate to focus their energy and devotion upon. The depth of belief and personal feeling is the same; the sensations of soul elevation are equally profound.
 

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Definition

Let

To allow, permit, or give opportunity for something to happen, often by not interfering. It is also used to make suggestions/requests ("let's go") or, chiefly in British English, to rent out property.
Synonyms: allow, permit, authorize, release, and rent.