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By Robert | 6:44 PM EDT, Thu April 30, 2026

STEELNEWS

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Submission

Submit

To overcome resistance to direction and yield oneself to the will of another.

Submission is an action of personal strength. To overcome internal resistance, the submissive must control their desire or need to maintain personal control in the creation and delivery of all personal decisions. They must overcome the need to express or deliver their personal judgment as the basis for creating, directing, and taking self-action. They must overcome their desire to act defensively through challenge and directed conflict when exposed to the direction of another. As part of this process, they must also submerge their ego to allow them to follow or accept direction from another without fear of loss of face, status, or worth.

To yield is to 'reward' through the offering of the inner self to the direction or will of another. This 'gift' is the nonresistance or need of conflict to direction and external control.

Resistance is usually based on fear of loss. That loss may be the perception of ego or self, loss of control, loss of independence, loss of status, and loss of perceived personal value or worth.

Some 'new' submissives believe that they need a 'strong' Dominant to conquer or externally overcome their resistance to direction and control. This implies an action of external 'force' upon the submissive. A violent, compulsion, or constraint exerted against a person. Such an action implies that the (self) of the submissive is not consenting to direction but in fact resisting or overtly acting in opposition to the acceptance of voluntary direction by another person. Nonconsensual force violates one of the primary tenets of the BDSM community and factually negates that the 'submissive' is voluntarily submitting at all.

The identification of 'strong' Dominant and the inability of a submissive to find one who meets these self-created, unattainable standards allows the submissive to evade taking the internal actions necessary to control themselves to offer themselves truly in submission.

A person who actively resists direction or control is not submitting. Acting out with resistance is a demonstration that the individual has not overcome their internal resistance to external direction and control.

Some submissives believe that by yielding or 'rewarding' access to their physical body, they are offering to the recipient of that 'reward' their submission. To reward access without yielding your inner (self) or ego to the voluntary acceptance of the will of another is not submission. It is a role-play submission on the surface without real meaning or depth in the exchange. Such an offering is shallow and quite limited. Again, this is often an action of defense based on fear of loss of control or exposure of emotional or mental vulnerability by the submissive.

Part of overcoming the defensive structures inside the mind of the submissive is the absolute necessity of the submissive to overcome their fear of releasing control to another.

Some submissives do not wish to release or submerge their egos through voluntary submission, instead desiring to shift responsibility for their submission to a forcible or non-voluntary imposition of submission upon them, thereby allowing them to save 'face' and shift the blame of their submission to the person who had imposed that condition or state upon them.

Submission cannot be imposed. Control can be imposed or forced. Often through tools of intimidation, fear, pain, guilt, or shame. We call this imposition of force - ABUSE! This is a nonconsensual action.

A submissive cannot escape personal responsibility for their submission. They must overcome the societal implications of perceived weakness of character and perverse or corrupt moral standards on their own. A submissive must overcome their feelings of shame and guilt for taking direct voluntary actions against the 'accepted' role of the 'independent successful human adult' as defined by the standards of outer society. It is important to consider that shame and guilt are tools used by religions, governments, and communities to impose censure and, through that censure, control members of the community who no longer believe or follow the often rigid and limiting acceptable path of an adult within that community.

You punish the unusual through shunning, disparagement, and express direct shame or humiliation. Any individual who defies or is able to ignore societal rules or controls becomes dangerous and perceived to be potentially beyond the control of that society. Such defiance causes fear.

The acknowledgment and acceptance of total responsibility for the submission of the self within is the first true step that a submissive takes toward total submission and the offering of the self to the will and direction of another.

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This web page is owned by F.R.R. Mallory - also known as Mistress Steel, including
all content and logos. This webpage has been redesigned to be easy to read. The
information on this page is designed to inform and entertain; it is not meant to offer
professional or legal advice. The content of this webpage may be excerpted from
Extreme Space, The Domination and Submission Handbook, Safe, Sane and
Consensual, Dangerous Choices, or other books by F.R.R. Mallory; all the content is
copyright-protected under United States and International Copyright Law. Please
click on the book title for information on how you can order a copy of these books
and others by F.R.R. Mallory.

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Archivist Note: Email links (steeibtrfl@aol.com, steelbfl@sonic.net) are no longer valid and have been omitted from this archive. The bookstore link was for a heritage site that is no longer active and has been omitted from this archive. OP's works were not found on the successor live site. Also, the discussion group on Yahoo Groups is no longer available and was not found on archive.org.

To purchase books by the OP, please search your preferred bookseller by title or by the OP's noms de plume: "Mistress Steel" and "F.R.R. Mallory".

Retrieved April 2026 https://web.archive.org/web/20120127131009/http://www.steel-door.com/submission.htm.

Definition

Submit

Formally present a document or proposal for review, or to yield to the authority, control, or opinion of another. Surrender or compliance.
Synonyms: yield, surrender, tender, present, file, defer, and concede.

 

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