Emotional Abuse

Emotional Abuse

Dear Mistress ~
What is abuse (emotional) in a BDSM relationship?

Emotion ~ A physiological departure from maintenance of a relatively stable internal environment. This environment is sustained through a series of interacting physiological processes such as drives, motivations, and other psychodynamic forces. Emotion is recognized as movement, agitation, disturbance or turmoil of this stable internal environment. Emotion is typically regarded as a feeling of (love, hate, desire, fear, anger, disgust, grief or surprise) which manifests in direct physical or observable phenomenon such as bodily changes or responses in preparation of overt actions which may cause the individual to 'move' into an unstable internal position. These bodily changes range from neuromuscular, respiratory, cardiovascular, hormonal, and others. Emotion is also regarded as the affective aspect of consciousness. To affect is to influence, alter, touch, or strike. Consciousness is the intuitive perceived awareness or knowledge of an inward psychological or spiritual fact. The state of consciousness is that mental state which is closest to or immediately available to the ego.

Abuse is to institute, practice, or otherwise implement a corrupt concept. The angry intent to wound, damage, or otherwise inflict injury usually suggests a lack of anything that is fair or temperate. A denunciatory diatribe, the insult. Language designed to shame is generally a sustained attack, nastily delivered. Meanness, coarseness, foulness of language - (profanity and obscenity delivered with practiced ease). One who is malicious or practices malicious actions.

To abuse within a relationship is to take direct, thoughtful, deliberate actions to destabilize the internal awareness or belief in self of others. Heated or agitated emotion can destroy or interrupt rational, considered thought processes, leading to manifest expressions of physical, emotional, and spiritual damage. The action to wound or injure is frequently delivered through the access into the ego and consciousness as the point most vulnerable to the individual. The ego is, in some ways, the expression of the self in its presentation or existence within its reality or sphere. Damage within the consciousness may keep the individual in a continual state of internal agitation and increasing destruction as that state is maintained or continues. Without the ability to rationally process the actions taken against them from an objective standpoint, the individual under attack may see or recognize no avenue of exit from the unstable emotional state.

Within a relationship, ego insecurity or the insecurity of personal self-belief may create a sensation of weakness, vulnerability, shame, and fear of exposure. The individual may resort to creating and sustaining emotionally abusive states with those who share interpersonal relationships with them to retain, maintain, and, in some measure, control the physical presence of others. The fear of loss of respect or revelation of weakness (exposure of the ego) is generally present when this type of action is chosen as viable. When thrusting or moving another human into a state of mental agitation occurs, the recipient may sense their response is being motivated or driven by an anxiety condition, generally recognized as one of the fear responses to danger. The captivation of belief toward the abuser (often aligned with the emotional states of love), coupled with the removal of free, deliberate, or rational thought processes, can serve to trap the individual or hold them within the abusive structure. The abuser often seeks to lower, damage, or even destroy the spiritual consciousness or awareness of self of those they abuse. The abuser may 'feel' that this diminishment or damage reduces other people to a position or status 'beneath' theirs. It tends to reflect their insecurity and fragmented thought processes, as they, too, are driven by emotional sensations such as shame, guilt, anger, and disgust in themselves.

Emotional abuse can be identified by strong sensations of depression, agitation, anxiety, confusion, and a feeling of ill that permeates the self. Tension and fear are often uneasy bedfellows, as are guilt and shame. Many people experiencing significant emotional abuse will state that they cannot do anything right. The belief in the 'word' of the abuser acts as a hammer in the spirit. Noted language may include words expressing absolutes such as 'always' and 'never'.

A non-abusive emotional state can best be identified by feelings or sensations of peace or internal serenity, even in the midst of excessive external instability or crises. Management of the 'crisis event' is governed by a solid emotional standing, which allows the individual to continue through the crisis or event with their rational thought processes primarily intact. The 'limited' emotional agitation is not compounded to an overall sensation of overwhelming emotional overload but retains or tends to retain boundaries which are augmented or strengthened by the supportive existence of a stable emotional state or environment.

The abuser tends to use what works, what they know, and what they understand. Frequently, the abuser also knows that they are abusing, this knowledge or internal spiritual fact can actually contribute to the actions or choices to abuse, as it reduces the abuser's belief in self, further causing a deepening of their already emotionally unstable state.

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