Print this page
Dominant Female...
It is a difficult subject. What I can express with clarity is that in the scope of my life, I have met no man I could not solve, and in most cases, step around and beyond. I am not certain what created this force within me, though I know that my husband tempered it. I do believe that the potential of the High End Dominant/submissive originates within the DNA. Those that seem to carry the traits the strongest appear to descend from families of historical dominance. I believe that most women are naturally 'commanders' of their realm. Generally, this is perceived to be their homes, children, and families. They are the organizers, propellers, shelterers, comforters. They are the creators of life. They are the glue that holds the world together.
Within this, other things are also true. The majority of women carry a submissive strain split that allows them to tolerate the 'dominant' man. And, most women emerge from conditional training toward how to 'submit' to men. The result is a confusion of instinct, social training, and angst. Emerging from this are a tiny number of women who stand up to openly reveal themselves. They are the antithesis of the bitchy, arrogant, self-serving female. This is the woman who comes to believe that the elements that are instinctively natural to her enhance, improve, and stabilize the world around her. If I follow my natural self, it is to direct, inspire, control, and insist on actions from those around me. Sometimes this is a subtle thing, other times it is exceedingly overt.
When I was young, I struggled greatly with this, for I felt there was a de-feminizing quality to it. Until I realized that the judgment or the critique was the viewpoint of others. To equate strength in a woman with masculinity is the cruelest of all. For what emerges from within me is the heart of my womanhood. This judgment is the final effort to control the uncontrollable dominant female through words of shame. There came a moment when I sundered the barriers and boundaries binding me. When I ceased viewing my own strength as anything but the purity within me. At that moment, my laughter returned, my joy of life, my exuberance in the wonders surrounding me. In essence, I permitted myself to be free.
The true dominant is the ultimate giver. Within me, I know the power to elicit the deepest, glorious responses from another human. I give them the total freedom to be themselves. Giving this engages my whole essence. To find a mate whose natural response is true, who has a clarity of self to desire and glory in being totally loved, taken, cared for, chastened, prodded, and held, is a priceless, deeply sought honor. Even as the women have been conditioned to respond against themselves, so too have the men been conditioned that they must stand above a woman or not be a man.
It is possible that I could make a reasonable life with a non-submissive man, but only if I withdrew core pieces of my soul. It is less possible that I could do even this much with a man who diminished the female; I would likely teach him, then try to take him apart. That would be devastation. The only possibility of true happiness is with a special man who believes within his very soul that he could give himself wholly to the right woman.
To me, I find my greatest contentment in showering those I love with attention. I am tactile, visually, and mentally triggered. With children, this manifests as the mother's presence. With a man, it manifests as total domination of his world. I love to play, taste, touch, and feel every part of a man. I love men. The way they look, smell, and move. I love their physical mass. I like to challenge their mind and body to perform in ways they have never known and cannot achieve alone, for this is an intertwined, inseparable bond. One of total trust, ultimate love, and true freedom.
This web page is owned by F.R.R. Mallory - also known as Mistress Steel, including
all content and logos. This webpage has been redesigned to be easy to read. The
information on this page is designed to inform and entertain; it is not meant to offer
professional or legal advice. The content of this webpage may be excerpted from
Extreme Space, The Domination and Submission Handbook, Safe, Sane and
Consensual, Dangerous Choices, or other books by F.R.R. Mallory; all the content is
copyright-protected under United States and International Copyright Law. Please
click on the book title for information on how you can order a copy of these books
and others by F.R.R. Mallory.
For limited release, re-posting, web-sharing information regarding any of the articles
on this website, or to sign up for the Steel-Door Newsletter direct mailing, please
email SteelBfl@sonic.net.
long text
Archivist Note: Email links (steeibtrfl@aol.com, steelbfl@sonic.net) are no longer valid and have been omitted from this archive. The bookstore link was for a heritage site that is no longer active and has been omitted from this archive. OP's works were not found on the successor live site. Also, the discussion group on Yahoo Groups is no longer available and was not found on archive.org.
To purchase books by the OP, please search your preferred bookseller by title or by the OP's noms de plume: "Mistress Steel" and "F.R.R. Mallory".
Retrieved April 2026 from https://web.archive.org/web/20120425194616/http://www.steel-door.com/Dominant_Female.html.