04 Slave Training (BDSM) [EN] 09 Public Behavior Training

A slave must remember her status in friendly BDSM situations and in conventional, public situations. There are obvious differences between the two, and it is important to inform your slave of the expected behavior in each case. Remembering her place outside of private boundaries allows the slave to maintain "space" and gives her the opportunity to express her respect for you in different circumstances. It also reminds her that you are still the Master—deserving of her service, but also responsible for her behavior. You both must remember that her behavior reflects her training. She must be aware of how other people perceive her Master.

In any public place, the slave must exercise discretion, dressing and behaving according to your wishes. Many Masters only allow their slaves to wear certain dresses or clothing of a certain style that is pleasing to them. If this is important to you, at a given time, go through her wardrobe with her, separating the clothes she is allowed to wear while with you, going to work, or when she is alone.

No matter where you are, your slave's attention should always be on your service before anything else. She should make sure you are comfortable. It is appropriate for the slave to kneel at your feet unless you order her to do otherwise. If kneeling is not practical, she should remain still until you order her to do otherwise. Your slave should never "assume" she can use the club chairs or a friend's furniture. Forgetting her status should not be tolerated. If you wish your slave to sit next to you, order her to do so. You must tell her beforehand if she is allowed to use the furniture.

A slave should not initiate conversation, but should answer any appropriate question or comment directed at her, especially if the question comes from a Dominant. Her answers should be courteous and brief, and she should not offer more information than requested. The slave must look intently at the person speaking to her and make an effort to listen to the conversation, whether it concerns her or not. If the slave is uneasy, nervous, or agitated, you must politely excuse yourself, remove her from the group, and reprimand her in a way that doesn't disrupt the rest of the group. Public behavior should never create a situation in which a slave is the object of attention, good or bad.

She must ask permission and wait for your permission before leaving your side (for example, to go to the bathroom, etc.). If you have not prohibited her from doing so, she must do so quickly and return. If you need to leave, or wish to leave your slave while you do something else, it is important to ensure that she is not left in a vulnerable situation. Check in on her often to monitor not only her behavior, but also to see if she is being approached or harassed by others. You should feel free to behave however you see fit in public, and you shouldn't feel "hostage" to your slave—however, it's not elegant to allow her to accompany you somewhere and then ignore her. If you think your actions won't allow you to pay her the slightest attention, it's better to leave her at home.

(Recently, my slave and I met an acquaintance at a club. He greeted us and told us how much he enjoyed our scene, and then began commenting on how much he liked my slave's behavior and body. Later, my slave told me that this made her uncomfortable—not because the dominant was praising her—but because the dominant had been preparing for a scene and had interrupted to talk to us. His submissive had removed her clothes and was standing there waiting for him when he approached my slave to comment on her qualities. My slave was puzzled by hers and told me that she wouldn't find it appropriate to hear my praise of another woman before a scene; she believes it would have ruined the scene and she would have felt terribly hurt. That's right. Although your slave is there to serve you, she relies on you to help her through this situation and to bolster her self-confidence.)

Although the BDSM community often seems conflicted about what forms of address are appropriate, it is always wise for a slave to address a superior as "Sir" or "Master." If the dominant prefers another form of address, he should inform his slave of what he desires. I have often heard people say that the title of Lord or Master must be earned, since the titles of Master or Mistress belong only to the slave's owner. This idea has good intentions—to protect new submissives and to remind her (and all of us) that the scene should be consensual. However, such harmless titles are used in society to denote a person's status, and nothing should be expected in a community with a hierarchical structure. "Sir" and "Master" are not titles that need to be earned—nor should they be maintained if a person proves unworthy of them.

Inappropriate behavior in a friendly scene cannot be tolerated. The slave can be punished in public, but the best punishment for an unruly slave is to send her to the car for the rest of the evening, reserving physical punishment for home. As with all punishments, a slave should not expect a spectacle as punishment for her bad behavior.

The use of a title in conventional places may be appropriate. My slave calls me "sir" no matter where we are, unless the use of the title would offend someone or encourage them to ask questions they don't really want answers to.

In most cases, a slave may be discreet to show you respect in ways that are obvious to you, but invisible to the rest of the world. She may be careful in conversation, focus her attention on you, be prepared to serve you in minor matters, walk behind you, or make sure her lips and legs are slightly parted.

As in all conventional situations, it is unfair for those around you to have to know about your relationship.

However, if you see your slave behaving incorrectly in a conventional situation, you should reprimand her at a more convenient time. Remind her that no matter where you are, she must make an effort to continue behaving as your slave and not disconcert you. Sometimes a master's confusion is punished in public. (See ideas for punishment.))

From original site "BDSM Canarias" [BDSM Canary Islands], this is a portion of the article “Manual de Adiestramiento" [Training Manual] URL http://www.bdsmcanarias.es/textos/Manual_de_Adiestramiento.htm