Predators and Fakir

Hello Ma'am,

I would like information about predator doms, specifically how to address situations where a dom has taken money from their sub under false promises, and how to respond if a dom attempts to defame you for sharing this experience with others.

Predators and Fakir ~

Predator

A person who hunts for, seizes, and grasps something or someone by violence. That taken with a desire to be devoured or destroyed (consumed and discarded). To commit violence, robbery, or fraud. Plunder, ravage, rob.

Fakir

The wonder-worker. One that passes him/herself off as something other than what he/she is or pretends to qualities or abilities that s/he does not possess. The pretender, the impostor, the phony. To invite trust, reliance, and belief for the express purpose of taking or committing fraud, violence, and robbery.

There is a necessity to invest trust, reliance upon, and belief in the individual that a submissive identifies as having the characteristics, attributes, unification of spirit, principle, outlook, or interest that the submissive condenses to use as identifiers of that being or person they recognize as being Dominant. This investment of trust and belief inevitably exposes the submissive to vulnerability of misuse by that individual who can create, sustain, and deliver the 'package' of dominant traits to the submissive. The fakir or confidence man/woman is indeed a Master; they are an expert at adopting the patterns, habits, and appearance of that which they wish for others to 'see' and believe. This fraud is typically for the express purpose of taking belief, physical pleasure (sex and abuse), and monetary gain from their prey. An extreme predator or sociopathic predator uses this lure to gain access to their victim for the primary purpose of the commission of extreme violence, torment, torture, dismemberment, and ultimately the death of their prey. An extreme predator is without regard for the life value or worth of those they interact with. Their prey is simply an object to be hunted and (devoured/destroyed) for the express pleasure of the predator.

The advent of the Internet has allowed predators to easily gain knowledge and entrance into the BDSM community. It is remarkably easy to formulate an identity visible 'online' to lure a submissive into a state of invested belief in that individual. Once that investment occurs, the predator can then formulate, define, and execute a plan of action to take what they desire from that submissive. The predator can present a 'story' to the submissive that explains why certain actions are needful on the part of that submissive. It is personal. Private. Their situation is 'special', and not to be shared by others. The very sensible 'safety information exchanges and checks' are totally supported by the dominant generally, but in this 'special' case, need to be modified to address their unique situation. The predator may state that they never expected to ever meet the 'submissive of their dreams' and that his/her arrival presents problems and issues that the 'dominant' never expected to face at this point. They must protect their career reputation, they have minor children and might lose them in a custody battle, they must move very carefully and slowly in their home life, and other relationships as their spouse/former spouse suffers from a. mental illness, b. physical illness or injury, c. access to attorneys, finances, and clout which might be used to destroy the 'dominant' if knowledge of the 'dominant and submissive' relationship should be exposed. The predator explains the lack of 'community recognition locally' by attributing their selection of personal privacy due to one or more of these types of factors. This submissive is the 'special' one; there is no former submissive that they might question. Oh yes, the predator has been dominant for a long time, but they don't have permission from their former submissive(s) to use them as a reference, or they have lost touch with that former submissive, etc.

The submissive who is at this point 'invested' in the belief of that 'predator' accepts the word of the predator and rationalizes the information or instructions that the predator sets into motion. The predators 'thoughts and concerns for the people in their lives are an 'admirable trait', something the submissive should admire. So what, that it limits what the submissive can find out about the dominant. They know them. The dominant is wonderful. So very real to them online and on the phone. Knows exactly the right way to treat that submissive. Surely everything they say must be real and true. The submissive 'feels' it. And, a challenge to the dominant, wouldn't that mean or reflect that the submissive does not truly believe in the dominant? Isn't that an action of disrespect? Isn't a submissive supposed to immediately offer trust, belief, and reliance in the word of a dominant? Isn't that what everything is about?

The double-edged blade.

A predator/fakir takes their victim because they can. It is just that simple. The predator knows and understands that the submissive, by nature and conditioning, will be reluctant to point out the pieces that don't fit. They will or may feel some 'shame or guilt' for being submissive in a world that considers such a choice as erroneous and subject to disdain or dismissal of the submissive's relative 'value' by outside standards. The predator knows that there is no 'central clearing house' of information related to problems between or about specific dominants/submissives within the community itself. Essentially, they know that they can willfully take, use, consume, diminish, and destroy the life, finances, mental and physical welfare of a submissive with little or no recourse against them. They also know that once completed, they can easily 'pick up a new name' and begin the same process again and again, feeding the monster within.

If you are the victim of a predatory or a fake dominant, what actions should you take?

First, consult a lawyer if you experience actions against you, as many fall under legal statutes for redress. Be open and honest—proudly and gracefully—about your life and lifestyle choices. Shame and guilt belong to those who impose them, not to you. Combating discrimination starts with small actions that hold others accountable. Even if a small claims case for property or monetary theft is not won, the attempt may expose the predator. Legal actions can disrupt their behavior, making them visible and limited in harming future potential victims.

Exist. Be visible. Retain your dignity and self-respect. Your character is who you are. Be consistent. Do not respond to intimidation online or elsewhere. Be truthful (not bitter or angry) when asked questions about what occurred. Understand that your quiet retention of grace and dignity will do far more to support your reputation than any overt attempts on your part to 'expose' or otherwise engage in verbal assault against this predator online. Remember that when any relationship breaks down, outside viewpoints will regard the 'opinion' of either party as resulting from 'bitter grapes'. If the actions taken against you are 'real', then allow their disposition to be played out in a 'real' arena, such as a court.

Final note: Predators and fakirs fall on both sides of this coin. This question was directly about dominant predators and, as such, was addressed in this way. No dominant or submissive should 'need' or request money. If they are requesting or needing help financially, then they are at a point of instability, which is exactly the wrong time to even consider the formulation of any kind of relationship with them.

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Archivist Note: Email links (steeibtrfl@aol.com, steelbfl@sonic.net) are no longer valid and have been omitted from this archive. The bookstore link was for a heritage site that is no longer active and has been omitted from this archive. OP's works were not found on the successor live site. Also, the discussion group on Yahoo Groups is no longer available and was not found on archive.org.

To purchase books by the OP, please search your preferred bookseller by title or by the OP's noms de plume: "Mistress Steel" and "F.R.R. Mallory".

https://web.archive.org/web/20120127130915/http://www.steel-door.com/predators_and_fakir.htm.

Definitions

Predator

1. An organism, typically an animal, that hunts, kills, and consumes other animals (prey) for food and energy. Someone who ruthlessly exploits, manipulates, or preys on others for personal gain, power, or sexual gratification.

2. A person or entity that exploits, harms, or controls others for personal gain.
   
   Synonyms: 1) Hunter, beast of prey, carnivore. 2) Aggressor, attacker, assailant.

Fakir

1. A Muslim (often a Sufi dervish) or Hindu religious ascetic, mendicant monk, or holy man who often wanders and performs acts of endurance or apparent wonders.

2. An Islamic term traditionally used for Sufi Muslim ascetics who renounce their worldly possessions and dedicate their lives to the worship of God.
   
   Synonyms: Friar, itinerant preacher

Faker

A person who deceives others by pretending to be someone they are not, faking feelings/illness, or creating counterfeit objects.

Synonyms: fraud, imposter, charlatan, sham, phony, and pretender.